Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Tornado videos

You remember the old westerns? The movies where the Indian always climbed up the edge of the fort, was shot and flung himself backward, etc. The women always picked up a rifle dropped by a downed man and shot someone dead on. And so on and so forth. It's kind of like wrestling: fake and predictable.

Well, tornado videos aren't fake, but they sure are predictable. I've just watched a few on Hulu and have come to a few conclusions:

Ten Things all Tornado Videos have in Common
  1. Film is shot by men between the ages of 25 and 45.
  2. There is far too much adrenalin, caffeine and testosterone present.
  3. Every other phrase is, "Oh my G--." 
  4. Every tenth word is a curse.
  5. "Debris" is a very desirable thing.
  6. Missing the spark as the tornado crosses the power lines is a source of shame.
  7. The chasers will get too close - on purpose - and instead of sensibly turning around and heading back down the road, will reverse at 60 mph while one of them yells, "Back! Back!! Go go go!!!"
  8. Someone will always get mad that the wipers are on, ruining the shot.
  9. Hoots and screeches will accompany any lighting stroke caught on film.
  10. While you're trying to listen to the sound of the wind, someone is invariably yelling, "Do you HEAR that?!?" so that you can't.